A Constant State of Hunger

Weigh-in 9/18/2015

This week the company I work for had our national sales meeting, which involves screwing up routines and lots of hard eating (and drinking) that is, at times, difficult to stay away from. But:

Current Weight: 306.4 lbs

Weekly Loss: (-1.2) lbs

Total Loss: (-16.6) lbs

Our meeting was at the Epicurean Hotel in Tampa, Florida.

Yeah – read that again. <sigh>

But I was overall really happy with my ability to keep it under control. There were buffets for breakfast and lunch every day, but there were always ways to eat mostly very good things and keep the very not-good things down to reasonable portions (mostly a bite or two here or there). My strategy was typically to fill half of my plate with the salad at the beginning of the buffet. That made it harder to load that plate up with creamy stuff or tons of meat later. It worked.

I did miss two runs this week – my Wednesday morning run just didn’t happen, and then when I got home yesterday I had come down with some kind of nasty cold thing. This morning I actually called out to work and went back to bed … and slept until past noon. Tomorrow is traditionally my long run, but we’ll see. Hopefully I can get out there, but my scheduled 5-miler will likely not happen. I’ll shoot for 3.

I had forgotten that when I re-started WeightWatchers this time I set my goal weight at a loss of only 5%. I did that to make sure I was keeping perspective and not let the daunting number that I’ve really got in my head overwhelm me. So when I logged that weight I didn’t expect WW to get all sparkly and congratulate me for hitting my goal – it was nice. Even though I know I still have a long way to go, I also know I’ve lost 5% of my weight and I’ve set things up well to go even farther. The next goal is another 5%, which will happen when I get under 291.

Onward!

Weigh In – 9/11/2015

Good week this week, across the board. The hunger has settled down and become more manageable, and I’ve been able to tell a difference in how my clothes are fitting. As such, I was optimistic about this weigh-in, and it didn’t disappoint.

Weight: 307.6 lbs

Weekly Loss: (-3.2) lbs

Total Loss: (-15.4) lbs

Weekly Average: (-1.71) lbs

So, yeah. This is one of those weeks that will happen when you weigh over 300 pounds. The 1 – 2 pounds / week average is a long term average, and also includes those weeks when I weigh much less than I do now. Until then, there is so much extraneous crap on my body that it’ll shed pretty fast. Obviously I’m very happy with this number, but one of the goals here is to not get all that excited. In the coming weeks, I’ll have weeks where I barely lose any weight, if I lose any at all. There may even be weeks with a slight uptick. Those are OK, as long as the long term trend is down by 1 – 2 pounds per week. That’s just math. And I’d rather my energy and excitement level stay pretty steady than to get all excited by this and then get all down in the dumps when I have a week that’s not so good.

I had a couple of runs this week that didn’t feel good at all – I even skipped one on the theory that a little recovery isn’t necessarily a bad thing. This morning’s run felt better, though. The first mile was brutal, but the second and third miles felt a bit like old times, and let me know that it WILL come back, if I will just keep working at it.

Next week is a travel-for-work week, and it is our national meeting and all of the food and alcohol that goes with one of those. I’ve moved my schedule around so that I only have one run scheduled during the week, and I’m determined not to flake out on that. And then I’ll just have to watch myself with the food. Wish me luck.

Onward.

Just like I drew it up…

Yesterday morning – Labor Day, holiday, good excuse to sleep in day – I actually roll when the alarm goes off at 5am. I had a three-miler scheduled, and I was ready to knock it out.

But then I struggled. I fiddle-farted around, used the bathroom, checked my email, just generally took my sweet time. I did get dressed, and then I put my shoes on, and was starting to get the electronics all going, when I hear from the top of the stairs:

“Daddy, are you back yet? Daddy?”

Turns out the 3-year old apparently made it into the bedroom and asked my wife if he could go downstairs. She, thinking, reasonably, that I had left for my run told him he could when I got back. So he came to check. And I, having expected him to sleep longer, was not only not back … I had not left.

So.

So I wound up not going yesterday morning. I did the good husband thing and also dealt with the baby when he woke up at 6:30 and I let my wife sleep. We had a get-together at a friend’s house, and I felt guilty all day about missing my run.

And then I realized – no reason I couldn’t do it in the evening, right? I get so set in my ways and my schedules, and if something doesn’t work, I tend to throw my hands up and say “that’s it!” Its a weakness.

But I went yesterday evening and got my three miles in.

Just like I drew it up.

Photo-op Saturday

Got up this morning to go for a scheduled 4 mile run, but I was having some gastro issues and lets just say that I was nervous to be 2 miles from the house this morning after having run to get there and move on.

Instead, because I was up and had a rare free morning when the sun was coming up, I grabbed my camera and headed out to the big pond / little lake out here by the house that I see so much wildlife in as I drive by on the way to and from work. This is the same lake where I took the picture of the big alligator a few weeks back, and I thought maybe I’d find something interesting.

And I did. Lots of things.

One thing I have to say about Florida – when the sun isn’t directly overhead the landscape is absolutely beautiful.

Kind of perfect, really... — Kind of perfect, really…

So I walked up and spent a couple of minutes looking around, just to see if there was anything obvious to see. There wasn’t, so I started walking down the edge of the water. Within two minutes, I made a new friend.

This was not the big guy, but I was able to get up very close to him and get some pictures I really like. This was a rush.

Then I went and found the birds. A great blue heron:

A great egret:

A red-winged blackbird (actually a bunch of these, but they didn’t sit still for pictures):

And a little blue heron (which is a distinct species, not just a small specimen):

The light was challenging, but I want to practice my photography and try and get better – there is so much here to take pictures of, and it is frustrating to know what you want the shot to look like and not be able to execute. So I’ll keep practicing – and seeing all of this wildlife is really a rush.

Tomorrow, though, I’ll be running. I’ve got a 4-miler to make up.

Weigh In – 9/4/2015

Good morning and a happy Friday to everybody! Long weekend coming up, college football is up and running (and if the Razorbacks don’t beat UTEP by 40 points or more then I’ll be disappointed), and the weight, it is coming off.

Current Weight: 310.8 pounds

Weekly Loss: (-2.2) pounds

Total Loss: (-12.2) pounds

Weekly Average: (-1.53) pounds

A good week this week. I feel like the hunger has been under control a little bit more, and I completed the 5K training program that I was working on, so I feel like I’ve “graduated” up to regular running again.

I also signed up for another race – it turns out that the Celebration Rotary Club does a pancake breakfast and 5K/10K every year that starts and ends about a mile from my house. I signed up for the 5K (on 10/31), and bought tickets to the pancake breakfast for the wife and child(ren) – so that’s a go. For anybody that’s new (hi!), you can see all of my race reports and upcoming races here

If I can keep this pace up, I’ll go under 300 pounds in late October and be approaching my previous low (around 275) in time for the half marathon in late January. It has only just begun, but I’m excited about getting back there.

Onward!.

August

It hit me this morning that September has started (I know – I’m a day late – getting older sucks), and that means a look at August is in order.

This was my first full month back in the saddle, and it went well, all things considered. Because of travel (and a few confidence issues) I took a zero in the first week – no miles until August 8th. Even still, I got out there 16 times – so once every other day on average – for a total of 47.88 miles and an average distance of almost exactly 3 miles. Not too shabby for being so early on. I took a look – in my first real month at it the last time I got serious about running I went out 16 times for only 37 miles – so I’m ahead of the curve.

The mileage doesn’t matter nearly as much as the frequency, though. The trick is to get out and do it – that’s 90% of the thing for me right now, and the other 10% is to not collapse when I get back inside. My 5K is a month from tomorrow, and I’ll be ready for it. Another positive – this was August in Central Florida. The weather can only improve from here, which always helps.

On a different note – I entered August at roughly 320 pounds, and left it at roughly 312. So I lost 8 pounds in 4 weeks, which is an average that’ll get me places. Every pound I drop makes me feel better, makes the clothes fit better, makes the runs go smoother, etc., and ad nauseum.

This morning was run #1 in September – I struggled to get out of bed, but I did it, and I’m really looking forward to my September month review.

No excuses.

You must go to Gatorland

Took the family to Gatorland in Orlando today, and here’s the thing about Gatorland – you need to go.

No, seriously, whatever it is that you have planned in the Orlando area the next time you come around, you need to just go ahead and shuffle that around and make a trip to Gatorland. If you’re here for Disney, just take the half day or even full day and skip Disney and head over there.

We went in with low expectations. Frankly, it seemed like it had an opportunity to be very cheesy. And, in spots, it was. But that was more than made up for by the just unbelievable wildlife – there are so many alligators that counting becomes pointless. And snakes and birds and crocodiles and you name it – this place is incredible.

We didn’t see the “famous” Jumperoo show, but we did go and take in the alligator wrestling. Picture a sand pit in the middle of a little arena, bleachers on all sides. The pit is surrounded by a moat, in which swim a dozen or so alligators and over which is a single bridge that has gates on both ends of it. Some crazy-ass dude walks in there, asks a little kid to pick out which gator he’s going to “wrestle” – and the little kid OF COURSE picks the biggest one in the water. Because, OF COURSE. This thing is mean, and our man struggles to get it out of the water. So he STEPS OFF INTO THE MOAT, WADES OVER AND GRABS IT BY THE TAIL AND DRAGS IT UP INTO THE SAND PIT. This alligator snarling and bellowing and trying to bite him the whole time. And then proceeds to do all kinds of tricks with it.

Are you kidding me?

Seriously, come do this. And bring your camera. There is some amazing stuff to see here. I took all of the pictures included below except the one with the family – that one cost $18.99, but did come with a 1GB flash drive.

And be greeted immediately by a sight guaranteed to make you pause.

Obligatory “ride the fake alligator” shot

We didn't know about the little alligator when we said do it - there was a snake option, to which we said — We didn’t know about the little alligator when we said do it – there was a snake option, to which we said “no but hell no”

They have tropical birds. Happy with my lens on this.

This guy was no shit certifiable. And this was his second go at the gator - he got away the first time. Just crazy. — This guy was no shit certifiable. And this was his second go at the gator – he got away the first time. Just crazy.

No seriously - just crazy. — No seriously – just crazy.

He was not the biggest gator we saw, but he was huge and right underneath us.

Tried to make this confrontational-looking, but it wasn't. The bird was in zero danger. — Tried to make this confrontational-looking, but it wasn’t. The bird was in zero danger.

Great Egret. Looks like another freaking country.

And welcome to Florida, where the humidity is wretched and it rains every day.

Weigh In – 8-28-2015

Interesting week this week – as discussed yesterday, I hit a week where the hunger, it is real and all consuming.

Current Weight: 313.0 lbs

Weekly Gain / (Loss): (-0.4) lbs

Total Gain / (Loss): (-10.0) lbs

Weekly Average: (-1.4) lbs

Added the weekly average in there, because its important – and doubly so in weeks where I was successful but maybe not quite as successful as I would have liked. 0.5 – 1.0 pounds per week is the absolute best pace – people that lose weight at that pace are just as likely to lose as much weight as those that go faster, and are significantly more likely to maintain their weight loss. This is just a good, healthy way to do it.

And so, on a week when I lose less than a pound because I can’t keep from putting anything (everything!) edible into my unhinged yap … it helps to know that my weekly average of losing about a pound and a half a week is right about, or even slightly above, where I need to be. These things also don’t move on a straight line, and as long as I’m doing what I need to do to keep the calories down, and I’m exercising at the consistent rates I intend to – losing anything is a win.

So – another win! Ten pounds down! Onward!

I’m Starving – a Story in Gifs

So, a major premise here is that I am always hungry – I live my life in a constant state of hunger.

The goal is just to keep it under control – a low level hum in the background. Well, lately, the hunger, it has been assertive. I think about food. I dream about food. I obsess about food.

This, of course, makes it hard to focus – at work or at home. I get irritable. I get cranky. Even I don’t like me.

And then I start making bad choices. Like eating dangerous food …

Or just simply disregarding portion sizes.

I’ll walk into a restaurant or a grocery store – any place with food, really, and struggle to hold back.

And lord help us all if you set something edible down in front of me.

I try to eat the things that are supposed to make this better – I have protein, I have fruits and vegetables to get fiber, I eat all of my WW points for the day, and yet I still can’t get it under control.

Maybe I just need to get busier – maybe it is boredom.

Regardless, I’ve got to figure it out, because, yikes, this is getting crazy.

Three miles this morning – maybe I just need to work harder to earn the few extra calories.

Any big ideas, let me know. I’m open to all suggestions for appetite suppression at this point.

The End

(all gifs courtesy of http://www.giphy.com)

The grind

Blog posts about blogging are not something I’ve ever been able to get behind … entirely too meta and self-aware. And redundant. But…

I find it remarkable how much these things go in fits and starts. I’ve been doing well with my Weight Watchers points, and I’ve been running regularly. The problem is that between those things, a couple of sick kids, and a couple of big deliverables at work … I gots nothing to talk about unless I want these updates to be “Ran 3 miles this morning, and evaded a Zombie horde…” or “Man, I had the damnedest time keeping in my WW points today.” After awhile, those get repetitive and boring.

Sometimes there is excitement nearly every day. Sometimes, like now, life is a grind, and you grind through it so that you’re prepared to take advantage when the exciting stuff comes along.

And we’re grinding…

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