Blog posts about blogging are not something I’ve ever been able to get behind … entirely too meta and self-aware. And redundant. But…
I find it remarkable how much these things go in fits and starts. I’ve been doing well with my Weight Watchers points, and I’ve been running regularly. The problem is that between those things, a couple of sick kids, and a couple of big deliverables at work … I gots nothing to talk about unless I want these updates to be “Ran 3 miles this morning, and evaded a Zombie horde…” or “Man, I had the damnedest time keeping in my WW points today.” After awhile, those get repetitive and boring.
Sometimes there is excitement nearly every day. Sometimes, like now, life is a grind, and you grind through it so that you’re prepared to take advantage when the exciting stuff comes along.
Somehow I got it in my head that I want to try doing triathlons. Not sure how this crazy idea got in there, but it is most definitely there. Of course, if that is ever going to go anywhere I can’t just keep running and running – there are two other disciplines in there, you know?
So this morning, for the first time in my life, I went to the pool with the express intention of swimming laps. I even bought goggles. And I have two impressions:
That shit is hard. Holy moly.
I think I am going to like it. Because of the pool’s hours I’ll be starting out only going one or two days a week – but I think I will like it. I will definitely go back tomorrow.
I’ve been looking for a jumping off point for this post, and today’s Daily Prompt provided just that starting line.
As I’ve now said multiple times, I was in Washington DC last week, and was reminded every day why DC is one of my favorite cities. There are the obvious things, of course – the monuments, the buildings, the museums. And then there are the more subtle things – the energy, which is rivaled only by New York City for me; the men and women in suits that look like they’re on a mission to save the world; the guys in black that are patrolling the roof of the White House and that you can see if you look really closely.
I share my birthday with Abraham Lincoln (Charles Darwin, too, though that doesn’t get us anywhere in this post). Since I was small I have had a fascination with Mr. Lincoln, almost an obsession. One of the manifestations of that interest involves visiting the Lincoln Memorial any time I am in DC, and preferably at night. The walk this time took me through the WWII Memorial;
Three states I happen to be very familiar with…
The Vietnam Veteran’s Memorial (which really is stunning at night);
No picture can do this scene justice, particularly a crappy iPhone shot…
And then finally to see Mr. Lincoln:
The juxtaposition of how big he is up close to how big he is compared to the temple is … striking
My time spent at the Memorial always leaves me feeling both invigorated and melancholic, if that is even possible. I am inspired by his life and his work ethic, and being there makes me feel that I am a part of something much larger than myself, something grand and glorious. But I get melancholic both at the sense that my life is passing and with each day it becomes less likely I’ll ever change the world, and also in that way melancholia always creeps up when you’re in a temple to remember the dead.
This trip, though, introduced a new introspection and thought process centered on the idea that Mr. Lincoln would disapprove of us today. That he’d look at all of the fighting and bickering and gridlock and lack of progress and he’d get his hackles up and tell us all, in that high nasal voice of his, to knock it off. Knock it the hell off.
What does this have to do with the Daily Post prompt about coins in a fountain? I did not take the below picture, which is almost certainly from the FDR Memorial (which I visited but didn’t photograph), but I saw these signs everywhere, as well as the clear evidence that they were being ignored:
Coins Damage Fountain
This illustrates my point better than I ever could with words. This thing we have – the United States of America – is a precious thing, and a startlingly young thing in the grand scheme, and no guarantee exists that what we have must endure for ages. Instead what we have is an experiment that will only ever be as good and as successful as we make it, each of us. Sure there are big decisions every day that we don’t understand – things like the budget, and health care, and military involvement around the world – and that we can’t influence.
But there are millions of small choices made every single day, the sum of which decides whether we have, for example, a clean and poignant fountain or a broken puddle full of loose change. I want to live in a country that has the former, and the only way I know to do that is to learn, and care, and teach. I’ll be bringing my sons to these places, and I’ll be teaching them that these are THEIR places, and that those places deserve our respect. That’s the least we can do to pitch in and make this whole thing work.
To make it a place I’d be proud to show Abraham Lincoln around.
To summarize – things like motivation and willpower are finite, and not enough to get you and keep you fit. Instead, think of fitness as a skill that must be developed, which includes a lot of underlying skills – things like knowledge, going easy on yourself, etc. The small underlying skills build to the broader skill of “being and staying fit” in the same way that the small underlying skills inherent in playing guitar (right hand technique, left hand technique, chord knowledge, etc.) build to the broader skill of “playing the guitar”.
I find this to be quite inspiring.
When we are acquiring a skill, we fail. Generally a lot. But, over time and with practice, we can improve our skills. And that’s what is so inspiring – I can get better at this, not because I somehow got stronger as a person, or found some motivation lying out on the road, but because I grew my skill base and helped make it second nature.
Beginning in early 2013, I spent two years eating well and exercising well and generally building that skill. In the end, the whole “getting and staying fit” picture failed, but I still built on the underlying inherent skills, and I can still build on those. I can still get better at this, if only I will.
Family vacation time! We are on our way to Rehoboth Beach, Delaware, and first stop – Cracker Barrel. And I am still gonna stay in my points today. All week, too – if it kills me. Next stop – North Carolina!
Not to get too carried away here, but it is time for a Mike McD-style Ali-like return to the ring, so … we’re back
They say when you come back from not blogging that you don’t have to, and maybe even shouldn’t, apologize or explain. They are wrong. That makes no sense.
So, in one of my very first posts, one of the things I talked about was how I was inspired by, but ultimately disappointed and frustrated by, Ben over at Ben Does Life. About how he was so cavalier about “just do it!” when his process didn’t match reality for so many – we don’t all get to cut class and go running at midnight and not worry about our families and our mortgages, etc. The reality for most people is that fitting in fitness is about juggling schedules and making it work, and we don’t get to just drop Ironman training onto our daily schedule and expect a maintenance-free transition.
Ben fell off the wagon and quit blogging, and that has been frustrating, too. Because part of this whole story is the journey – there and back again, as it were. And for whatever reason I was overcome with cognitive dissonance because I never equated my abandoning this blog with Ben abandoning his. I was wrong about that.
I also fell off the wagon. After I dealt with my first (and I guess still only) running injury last summer, I was frustrated by how HARD everything felt. It was hard to eat right, it was hard to be motivated, my running performance was falling off (some of that was because I was out of shape because of the injury, some of that was because IT WAS THE MIDDLE OF THE FREAKING SUMMER, but, whatever it was, it was hard), and I just got into one of those mental funks. I didn’t have a concrete next goal to be working towards, and I just … stopped.
There was another race – a 5k in July that went very poorly – and then, on August 3rd, 2014, I went for what would become my last run for several months. I didn’t make a positive choice to stop running and eating well. I just fell back into an old routine and old habits.
When I started focusing on my food and my running, I lost 55 pounds, and needed to lose another 30 – 50. I’ve gained almost all of that back. I’m at 322 pounds as of Friday, and I’m not happy with myself for it. This size limits things you can do, and I’m not OK with that. Not to mention that a doctor would almost certainly put me on blood pressure medication, and I don’t want to do that, either. Clothes aren’t fitting and I’m just not comfortable with myself at all.
It is time.
I’ve been back on the Weight Watchers bandwagon for two weeks now, and I’ve now spent a week running again (lots of walking, but I’m getting out there). I’m signed up for a 5k in October and a half marathon in January. And I still have a goal in life to run a full marathon. This is not over, not by a long shot.
This blog will be a little different, though I’m still me. Life has changed, too – we moved our family to Florida from New York, and our family has grown – my younger son is now 18 weeks old and is an absolute little angel. I’m not focused on my race streak anymore, and though I’ll mostly talk about food and running and fitness here, I want to incorporate more of the elements of my life.
We’ll see how it goes. For the two of you that might actually read this, let me know what might be interesting.
So, I know that it has been awhile since this blog has been a priority. And I’ve done entirely too much complaining about the winter. And just as I start trying to get wound up with motivation, I get THIS comment today:
If you go and look up the winner of that race, and then do a quick google … a legit athlete said that. To me. This makes me want to run. And write. And run some more.
Thank you, Justin, for that comment. Its time to go WORK, and PUSH.
OK – so things got dark there for awhile. But … dark no longer! I’ve got several things to catch you up on here, and that’ll get done this week – starting this evening.
Things we’ll be talking about:
1. Weigh-ins (yep – I’ve been doing them)
2. Race Report – Rock ‘n’ Roll USA Half Marathon completed … and a massive PR!
3. New shoes – yep – its time to talk about shoes.
A Constant State of Hunger 